Title: Seasons of Fire
Summary: Hermione and Ginny’s relationship change over a year. Slash H/G. Post War with Ginny and Hermione in the same grade due to issues in the war...it will be necessary in later chapters.
Rating: Mild R
Disclaimer: Alas I do not own Harry Potter. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A/N: Love and cookies to my awesome beta mini1969

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Intro:

I never thought I had come to this stage. Never thought that there would come a point and time when I would want to be burnt. To be burnt by the mere touch of her hair. It drives me crazy...I have thought about it for too long. I have written down in this journal of a fire...my beautiful phoenix...one last look before I tell of my previous yearnings. I must tell her, I must!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Chapter 1

Autumn

Journal Entry for October 31st

Autumn, a season of fall. It is actually the season known as Fall. I have fallen in my own way, ironically not like a dead leaf at its life’s end, but fresh and full of life. Autumn is for falling and I have fallen for Ginny.

What a beautiful day it is.

The professors, much to my dismay have cancelled classes for their own personal pursuits. I find it disheartening that the professors have taken a much lighter attitude to education due to the War. Thank goodness for Professor McGonagall and Snape. Yes, I call him Snape now, been hanging around the boys too much. But that isn't why I am writing. Funny, I don't normally keep journals...I have had a firmly placed fear of journals since Ginny's traumatizing experience in first year. But my mind has plagued me too much with thoughts of her.

Irony seems to be fond of me.

I don't know why she is the reason, but I am highly distressed as to how she came to be the reason. Maybe I should track back to point of distress.

Yes, I am a perfectly logical witch and I can do this.

She was just sitting there, by the lake, watching the sunset, staring out in a very Luna-like fashion. Yet, I was drawn to her. It was bizarre how I noticed her fiery red mane fly out in a fan behind her as the wind blew. I walked up to her and sat by her after shrugging off that feeling of bizarreness. She turned and acknowledged me with a smile and in that moment I felt like dozens of butterflies were having their own version of the war in my stomach.

I don’t know why they did that. It’s just Ginny. I used to feel that when Ron looked at me. When he smiled one of his idiotic grins directed at me. Not anymore...now it’s just Ginny and I don’t know why it’s her.

Hell, I don't know why it’s a her.

Merlin, I must be suffering from the lack of education today.

Her luminous smile diminished into a worried frown and I realized I must have transferred my thoughts into my facial expression. I gave her one of my well known reassuring smiles hoping that it would do the job it was invented for. Unfortunately, it didn’t stay on for very long because right then we locked eyes, and those butterflies became substantial dragons. I become aware of her eyes as the different hues of brown danced with the colors of sunset. Those eyes that had every shade and tint of brown imaginable to any man or woman; those eyes that bore into my soul and caused a desire unheard of; those eyes that made me feel as if I was flying; like my favorite coffee flavor after a sleepless night. Those eyes that made me feel faint, those eyes that caused me to actually faint.

I woke up in the infirmary with those eyes staring at me in concern. I remember looking up into those eyes with a realization that I had caused them worry. It was odd was that I felt a physical pain in my heart knowing that I had caused those beautiful chocolate eyes worry. Speaking of chocolate, Madam Pomfrey, bless her heart, gave me some chocolate and sent me straight to bed.

I am still awake, recalling the image of those eyes boring into the depths of my soul. As I write in the diminishing candle light, I think more on the owner of those eyes.

She sleeps in the bed next to mine, the candlelight’s glow bouncing off the red ferocity that is her hair. What would she think if I told her? I must not; I will not. Her friendship means the world to me and it kept me strong through the war. To lose it will break me. I must bury these new feelings and hope they will die of suffocation within my heart.

{2. Winter}

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Title: Acceptance
Disclaimer: Alas I do not own Merlin.  
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Summary: Merlin accepts his destiny when direct and very real threats to his life don't affect him quite the same way. Now all that remains is for Arthur to do the same. That simple, right?
Rating: PG
A/N: Arthur's POV so there's a change in the process and rhythm

I am not my father. I am not my father. I am not my father.

Arthur wondered how many times it would take to repeat that before it was true.
 

If he wasn't his father then why did he pause before walking into a room with Merlin in it? Why did he tense up, his fingers twitching for a weapon when Merlin dressed and undressed him? Why is it that any mention of nefarious sorcery had his gaze snapping to the boy with thefae smile and impudent nature?
 

He did not understand how, why, or what would take over whatever powers ruled the magicks to grant the talent to such a person. The most unlikely of heroes, not more than a servant boy, and not even a good one.
 

His father spoke of the evils of sorcery, of the danger and duplicity involved. But try as he might, Arthur couldn't see it. Not in the gentle fumbling way Merlin put his armor on, or flirted with the girls in the town (and failed miserably), or the simple compassion he had for all living beings. He didn't even like hunting for goodness sake!
 

There was no evil in Merlin's magic, not the least intent. Arthur thought back to the druid boy, the look on Merlin's face at every execution, the connection with the bloody unicorn, his persistence to save Gwen (which come to think of it, was his fault the stupid boy) but even with that he was trying to save Tom.
 

Arthur beat his head against the back of his chair, if he wasn't his father, then why couldn't he trust Merlin anymore, come to accept that the magic was not out to harm him, that Merlin was not out to harm him, could never harm him.
 

Damn Uther.
 

I am not my father. I am not my father. I am not my father.

Title: REFLECTIONS OF A SILVER MOON

Disclaimer: Alas I do not own Harry Potter….I cry over it every night before I go to sleep. This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A star studded moonless night lofted in the heavens giving the earth beneath it an eerie glow. Sirius Black sighed contentedly, stars in his eyes, as he looked up at the twinkling lights over the astronomy tower. Thinking back to the last time he had been on the tower, he shivered and tugged his coat about him, remembering the threatening voice.

“You haven’t jumped yet.” Speak of the devil, or in this case, the bat.

Sirius smirked. “Disappointed?” he asked lowering his head to sneer at the one who broke his peace.

“Apathetic,” was all he got as a reply from his current bane of existence.

Severus walked over to stand next to Sirius and looked up at the stars his face taking on a pensive expression Sirius had never seen on his nemesis before. He spoke, “Nights we used to look up and stare at the sky. He loved the stars and hated the moon; though the funny thing was, he couldn’t draw his eyes away from the moon. Do you know how many stars can be reflected in his eyes on a clear silver night?” he asked his head turned slightly to glare at Sirius who scrunched his face up in thought.

Severus smirked, “It was rhetorical. Though….I know the answer, and until you do,” he turned fully to stare Sirius down, “Don’t even consider yourself worthy of his presence or your love anywhere near adequate.” With a flurry of dark-as-night robes, Snape billowed down to the dungeons.

Or some cave, thought Sirius.

-§-

Fall waned, and winter blew by. Spring jumped out with a burst of robins and dandelions. Remus and Sirius’ relationship has grown, you observe. With a tentative nudge in the right direction, it has become in and of itself, an entity--sentient in its ability to mold its fortunate, for now, victims.

On odd days, if you stayed behind on a Hogsmeade day, you could see them walking together; hands intertwined just enjoying the peace of a quiet castle. With the sun smiling down on them, and a light breeze tickling their hair, you would think that there was nothing more beautiful than Remus’ bright laugh. Then you would look at Sirius’ equally bright smile, eyes sparkling and doubt yourself. But then all that would shatter, in awe of the perfection they presented as they gazed lovingly at each other, nature herself beaming in their abounding love.

Then on that same odd day, you would look down at your pale cold hand tightly grasping a crumpled worn note. Once again, as you have on other odd days, open your fist and smooth it down with your potion stained fingers and read:

None. No stars in his eyes, instead he looks at the moon, never looking away. On moonless nights he simply doesn’t look at the sky. Why’d you think I was up there alone?

You can practically hear the smirk in the last sentence. The missive is unsigned but you know the author. Worse yet, you know the truth in the message. You sigh filled with regret of a great love lost.

Once again golden eyes haunt you, filled with reflections of a silver moon.

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**A/N: Final chapter, for now.

Title: REFLECTIONS OF A SILVER MOON

Disclaimer: Alas I do not own Harry Potter….I cry over it every night before I go to sleep. This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Sirius walked aimlessly throughout the castle taking pleasure in the clashes of thunder and lightning that ripped through the castle illuminating the empty corridors in ghastly light.

He found himself in the astronomy tower ambling aimlessly, not caring whether or not he would get wet or lighting would strike him. He walked up to the ledge and looked out across Hogwarts. From his vantage point he felt power coupled with helplessness. He reached his right arm as if trying to grab the sky just as a bolt of lightning shot through the sky making him feel god-like—an angry god with no more worlds left to destroy. He climbed upon the ledge and lifted his face to the sky relishing the rain beating down on his face angrily as if in vengeance.

Twice he almost slipped and plummeted to his death.

Twice he thought of ending it right then.

Twice he righted himself.

Twice he wondered what was holding him back.

“Don’t you dare.” He heard a cold voice slice through his thoughts. He turned his head toward the voice, and almost fell off in shock at who it was. He unsteadily righted himself and got off the precarious ledge.

“You don’t get to escape this. You don’t get to fall apart, and you damn well don’t get me to feel sorry for you!”

The owner of the voice turned around, his back to Sirius’ shaking shocked form.

“No dying. No escape.”

Sirius wondered if they were talking more to themselves than to him as the person strode out from the rain and back into the castle.

A clap of thunder shook Hogwarts.

--«§»--

Sirius made his way back to the dorms. He tersely gave the Fat Lady the password as she glared at him for rousing her from her nap. He rushed through the common room and straight up to the dorms.

He opened the door to their dorm, and slammed it closed, and leant on it. He heard soft breathing and looked around to see Remus sitting curled up in the middle of his bed with a book whose pages weren’t turned or its words read.

The random lightning broke the soft glow around Remus that was created by the candles. He'd never thought his heart could break and heal at the exact same time, now he did.

Without uttering a word, paying attention to his near hypothermic body, Sirius made his way to the bathrooms to change, stopping by his trunk to get his pajamas.

--«§»--

After finally getting warm and dry from the shower and a change of attire, Sirius was feeling brave. He went to stand at the foot of Remus’ bed, who did not look up but stared at his knees curled into his chest; the book had been long abandoned after a futile attempt to concentrate.

Sirius took a deep breath, prayed for strength to whatever deity was listening and plunged into the icy waters that were Remus’ disposition towards him.

--«§»--

“I want to talk to you.”

Remus didn’t look up.

“It’s been two months of hell, for all parties involved. I'm sorry. I know that I have said it over and over again, and I would for the rest of my life, but I miss you. I miss my best friend.”

Remus still didn’t look up.

“I lied. Remus, I lied to you about the reason I set Snape on you.” With no response from Remus, Sirius was getting irate. “Damn it, Remus! I’m sorry, I wanted to shock him, maybe even eliminate him.”

Still, Remus was resolute in silence and apathy.

They fell into a heavy stagnant silence for a while when suddenly Remus asked, “I know you wanted to hurt him, hurt me, whatever. I know you’re sorry. But I don’t give a damn about that right now.” He continued all the while sounding as if he was just commenting on the weather, “I want to know, why? Give me a why, Sirius. Why are you sorry? Why kill Severus? Why destroy my sliver of happiness? Why? Why? Why?” he set his eyes at Sirius, “Tell me something I don’t know.” His eyes fell back to his knees.

Sirius stared, stunned by Remus actually speaking to him. “I-I…What I mean is…” he trailed off when he realized he would just be stammering.

“I never meant to destroy your happiness. Quite the contrary in fact. I wanted to get Snape away from you. I was so sure that he would hurt you, that I would have done anything to protect you.” Sirius bowed his head in shame and continued, “He interfered. It wasn’t just us anymore. You started going to the library end of fifth year, and not to study for O.W.L.S. either. Even with the beginning of this year you had already started not showing up for our prank meetings. You were neglecting us for that greasy git,” he managed his voice hardening at the end.

Remus snorted, “So you wanted to kill Severus because I just wasn’t available at your beck and call anymore?” his tone icy.

“N-no no!” Sirius amended, “it wasn’t just that. It was—” he turned around with his back to Remus and sat down on the bed. With a now-or-never tone he continued, “I love you.”

Sirius couldn’t see it, but at that Remus finally looked up. “I know I have no right to say that, not after all I’ve done. I wanted to kill Snape because he had what I wanted most in this world. I’d die for you, even kill for you.”

Remus’ eyes widened in horror.

“I saw you two, before the full moon rose. On the lake, with your hands clasped together, laughing. I wanted that. With you, I wanted to be with you like that. So, yes, I'm selfish. It’s the Slytherin Black in me. But I am sorry. Not for loving you.”

Sirius turned his face to meet ocher eyes swirling with dizzying emotions. “I'm sorry, because I hurt you. You loved him. It killed me, but I should have just let it be. At least then, I still had your friendship. Now, I’ve destroyed that too.” He then stood with a destroyed sigh and made his way to the opposite bed that belonged to him.

“Wait.”

Sirius froze in place and turned to face his friend but was surprised to find him less than a foot in front of him. He inwardly smiled at Remus’ uncanny ability to creep - perfect for marauders.

Remus ran his hand through his tawny hair, nervously, “Thank you. I have waited so long for a real reason. It destroyed me to believe that you would so blatantly hurt me just to get a kick out of it.”

He inched closer to Sirius and ran his hand through his hair again, “By love did you mean…” he trailed off but Sirius answered anyway, “Yes, I meant…” he wasn’t able to finish it either. “Oh,” was all Remus could manage.

Sirius steeled his nerves and looked up straight into those amber eyes that haunted him day and night.

Remus stepped closer.

The stagnant tension from earlier replaced by static electricity. They were now centimeters apart…

Just as their eyes fluttered shut and they moved to bridge the remaining space, James burst into the dorm.

“Evans is a goddess.” He proclaimed all-knowingly.

Sirius and Remus sprung apart as if burned by the other’s presence. James rambled on oblivious to the tension crackling through the dorm, even the candles flickered restlessly.

“….and then she smiled at me and said, ‘Goodnight James’ in that voice that drives me nuts!” he fell on his back on his bed, staring dreamily at the ceiling. “I’m telling you guys, she loves me.”

Finally sensing an off-atmosphere he leaned up on his elbows, “Wait. You two are in here alone, and Sirius is not dead. I could have sworn I heard voices earlier, and they weren’t loud.” He narrowed his eyes at them, “What gives?” He looked back and forth between them.

He received no response.

The boys in question both got into their respective beds and drew their curtains around them throwing a mumbled goodnight at James.

Frustrated James took his shoes and clothes off, leaving him only in his boxers and also got into his bed. “Wankers, the both of you. Goodnight.” He drew his curtains and settled in for sleep filled with shades of red and green.

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